heloo
Funny Husband and Wife
A newly Married Husband saved his Wife's number... on his mobile as... "My Life"..
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After one year of marriage he changed the number to "My Wife"..
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After 2 years of marriage he changed the number to "Home"..
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After 5 years of marriage he changed the number to "Hitler"..!!
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After 10 years of marriage he changed the number to "WRONG NUMBER "..!!!
Wife: You had lunch?
Husband(in fun mood) : You had lunch?
Wife : I am asking You.
...
Husband : I am asking You.
Wife: You copying me?
Husband: You copying me?
Wife: Lets go shopping
Husband: I had lunch
Nice story : POLISH REMOVER
Although his English was not perfect, they got along very well.
One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him to arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland .
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.
Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
I got proof.
What kind of proof?
She going to poison me.......................
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She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read English pretty good, and it say: POLISH REMOVER
Very Very Funny.. Must Read
Little Marry was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Marry, who created the universe?"
When Marry didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted Marry and the teacher said, "Very good" and Marry fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Marry, "Who is our Lord and Savior," But, Marry didn't even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted Marry and the teacher said, "very good," and Marry fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked Marry a third question.
"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time Marry jumped up and shouted,
"IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"
The Teacher fainted.
****
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- See more at: http://www.inspireurfriend.blogspot.com/#sthash.9HUb3dcK.dpuf
Are you planning to get rid of some extra fats from your body?...
Here are the 10 best fat burning foods
1. Oats : Its not only tastes great but also reduces your hunger. Oats contains fiber which helps and stabilizes the levels of cholesterol.
2. Eggs : Eggs are the rich sources of proteins and low in calories. and it is good for fat burn. Eggs helps us to build the muscles and develops the good cholesterol.
3. Apples : Apples are enriched with powerful antioxidants and other supplements. Most importantly it contains Pectin which helps to reduce the fat cells in the body.
4. Green Chillies : Green chillies contains Capsaicin which helps to develop the body growth cells and burns the calories in quick time.
5. Garlic : Garlic contains Allicin which has anti-bacterial properties helps us to reduce the fat and removes the bad cholesterol.
6. Honey : Honey is the best one to burn fat. Add honey in warm water and take it daily in the early morning.
7. Green Tea : Green Tea is the most effective one which helps you to lose weight. It contains Antioxidants which helps and stabilizes our body weight.Take daily 2 cups of tea for a better results.
8. Tomatoes : Tomatoes helps us to burn the fat in quick time. It also helps us to stay away from cancer. So Take tomatoes in your diet regularly. Every time you eat a tomato, your body releases the hormone cholecystokinin, which stretches the valve between the stomach and intestine. This leads to increased satiety and helps you reduce your daily calorie intake. (Also good for the skin and helps prevent acne and wrinkles.)
9. Dark Chocolate : Dark chocolate contains Flavonoids, anti-inflammatory properties which helps to reduce the cholesterol levels in the blood. It boost the growth of serotonin in the blood and also burns the fat.
10. Wheat Grass : It boosts our metabolism and helps to reduce the fat.
* *Cinnamon: Just half a teaspoon of cinnamon added to coffee or lunch, lowers the levels of blood sugar, reduces insulin secretion and helps your body burn fat instead of storing it. Additionally, cinnamon is a natural sweetener and by using it to replace sugar you can reduce your daily caloric intake. Add half a teaspoon of cinnamon to your milk or foods to help your metabolism process the sugars found in foods.
*Side note - I have tried adding cinnamon to my coffee... im not a fan! I have added it to my oats in the morning though along with sweetner, its not bad!
BE SURE TO SHARE THIS SO IT SAVES TO YOUR TIMELINE!!
source>>>http://way2medicare.blogspot.com/2013/05/10-foods-that-burn-fat.html#.UofRPhqkofR
Man vs. Woman......!!
1. MULTITASKING:
Women - Multiple process
Women's brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time.
Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook.
Men - Single Process
Men's brains designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men can not watch TV and talk over the phone at the same time. they stop the TV while Talking. They can either watch TV or talk over the phone or cook.
2. LANGUAGE:
Women can easily learn many languages. But can not find solutions to problems. Men can not easily learn languages, they can easily solve problems. That's why in average a 3 years old girl has three times higher vocabulary than a 3 year old boy.
3. ANALYTICAL SKILLS:
Men's brains has a lot of space for handling the analytical process. They can analyze and find the solution for a process and design a map of a building easily. But If a complex map is viewed by women, they can not understand it. Women can not understand the details of a map easily, For them it is just a dump of lines on a paper.
4. CAR DRIVING.
While driving a car, mans analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fast as possible. If he sees an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object (bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and he drives accordingly. Where woman take a long time to recognize the object direction/ speed. Mans single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then concentrates only on driving.
5. LYING
When men lie to women face to face, they get caught easily. Woman's super natural brain observes facial expression 70%, body language 20% and words coming from the mouth 10%. Men's brain does not have this. Women easily lie to men face to face.
So guys, do not lie face to face.
6. PROBLEMS SOLVING
If a man have a lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and puts them in individual rooms in the brain and then finds the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking at the sky for a long time. If a woman has a lot of problems, her brain can not classify the problems. she wants some one to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry about the problems being solved or not.
7. WHAT THEY WANT
Men want status, success, solutions, big process, etc... But Women want relationship, friends, family, etc...
8. UNHAPPINESS
If women are unhappy with their relations, they can not concentrate on their work. If men are unhappy with their work, they can not concentrate on the relations.
9. SPEECH
Women use indirect language in speech. But Men use direct language.
10. HANDLING EMOTION
Women talk a lot without thinking. Men act a lot without thinking.
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1. MULTITASKING:
Women - Multiple process
Women's brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time.
Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook.
Men - Single Process
Men's brains designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men can not watch TV and talk over the phone at the same time. they stop the TV while Talking. They can either watch TV or talk over the phone or cook.
2. LANGUAGE:
Women can easily learn many languages. But can not find solutions to problems. Men can not easily learn languages, they can easily solve problems. That's why in average a 3 years old girl has three times higher vocabulary than a 3 year old boy.
3. ANALYTICAL SKILLS:
Men's brains has a lot of space for handling the analytical process. They can analyze and find the solution for a process and design a map of a building easily. But If a complex map is viewed by women, they can not understand it. Women can not understand the details of a map easily, For them it is just a dump of lines on a paper.
4. CAR DRIVING.
While driving a car, mans analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fast as possible. If he sees an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object (bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and he drives accordingly. Where woman take a long time to recognize the object direction/ speed. Mans single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then concentrates only on driving.
5. LYING
When men lie to women face to face, they get caught easily. Woman's super natural brain observes facial expression 70%, body language 20% and words coming from the mouth 10%. Men's brain does not have this. Women easily lie to men face to face.
So guys, do not lie face to face.
6. PROBLEMS SOLVING
If a man have a lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and puts them in individual rooms in the brain and then finds the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking at the sky for a long time. If a woman has a lot of problems, her brain can not classify the problems. she wants some one to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry about the problems being solved or not.
7. WHAT THEY WANT
Men want status, success, solutions, big process, etc... But Women want relationship, friends, family, etc...
8. UNHAPPINESS
If women are unhappy with their relations, they can not concentrate on their work. If men are unhappy with their work, they can not concentrate on the relations.
9. SPEECH
Women use indirect language in speech. But Men use direct language.
10. HANDLING EMOTION
Women talk a lot without thinking. Men act a lot without thinking.
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source>>>http://dewjiblog.com/2013/04/14/human-brain-analysis-man-vs-woman/
DON'T ACT THE 7 ACTIONS BELOW
AFTER YOU HAVE A MEAL
* Don't smoke- Experiment from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher).
* Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit 1-2 hr after meal or 1hr before meal.
* Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest.
* Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted & blocked.
* Don't bathe - Bathing after meal will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease. This will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.
* Don't walk about - People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.
* Don't sleep immediately - The food we intake will not be able to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric & infection in our intestine.
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